|
yinny_lai
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: YinLee
Gender: Female
Interests: Nicholas Tse:: gymnastics:: dance:: music:: shopping:: John Grisham:: Jurlique:: sashimi:: earring:: handbags:: shoes:: Boost melon zen juice:: honey & macadamia ice-cream:: Marian Keyes:: Kookai:: Mimco::VW Beetle:: Botanical Garden:: sappy movies:: my car:: interior decor:: karaoke:: Kippo
Expertise: sleeping:: spending money:: speeding:: complaining:: sulking
Occupation: Physiotherapist
Industry: Healthcare
Message: message me
MSN: yinlee83@hotmail.com
Member Since:
5/17/2004
|
|
| I vowed to walk away and never look back, only to find myself slowly being sucked back into this never ending whirlwind of emotions. I guess some things never change, or more like I don't want it to change. I do want myself to change because I know this ain't going nowhere, but at the same time I refuse to let it go because of the simple joy of being with you.
I wonder if it is ever possible for us to walk away from each other. | | |
| So many times I was alone and couldn't sleep
You've left me drowning in the tears of memory
And ever since you've gone I've found it hard to breathe
Cause there was so much that your heart just couldn't see
A thousand wasted dreams are rolling off my eyes
But time's been healing me and I say goodbye
Cause I can breath again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure, I'll find another you
Could you imagine someone else is by my side?
I've been afraid, He couldn't keep myself from falling
My heart was always searching for a place to hide
Could not await the dawn to bring another day
You're not the only one so hear me when I say
The thoughts of you they just fade away
Cause I can breath again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure, I'll find another you
Sometimes I see you
When I close my eyes
You're still a part of my life
Cause I can breath again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again
For sure, I'll find another you
Oh I'll find another you
(By Cascada)
Sometimes I surprise myself as to how quickly I can get over someone. Of course initially there were strong outbursts of emotions of all sorts. Anger, hatred, disappointment, rejection, sadness, confusion.....I've had it all. And then before I knew it, I have come out of it stronger and wiser. Maybe that was my own coping mechanism. My body and mind would rather take it all in one hit and get it out of my system quick....and then move on.
So now I seem to forget what I had gone through. What was it that he did to me that made me so upset? Why did I put myself through this? Was he even worth my tears? So when he actually called some nights ago, I had forgotten about being angry at him. I had forgotten about how he made my life miserable for a while. And I had sure forgotten about the comeback lines I was going to say to him in case he did call.
Instead, I had forgiven him.
I let him back in my life, much to the dismay and disapproval from many.
'Do you forgive and forget?', he asked. I just said I do not hold grudges. I figured if I am serious about moving on, I need to make peace this time somehow. And peace I made with him.
So I hope as I am moving on, you are not in my way.
| | |
| I just returned from a conference in Darwin and had just completed my last swimming lesson. | | |
| Many many years ago, someone wise taught me a very good principle to life, even till this day I still try to strive for. The serenity prayer says ‘Accept the things I cannot change, Change the things that I can’. This constantly reminds me that I am not and do not need to be in control of everything/everyone in my life and that I am no longer trying to fix or change situations/people that cannot and will not change no matter how much effort I put into it. If I realize and accept that I just have to let something/someone be, I can then devote my time and energy to those things I can really influence and change for the better. This does not mean I walk away from every situation, but it means I know when to say enough is enough. Religion/faith is a topic I do not like to dwell on much because of its moot point. But since you brought it up, I might as well ramble on. I do not understand for the tiny life of me how or why this thing called religion is causing such a divide in the world and in humanity. Don’t even get me started on the amount of bloodshed, lost lives, torn countries, starving children and broken families as a result of differences in faith. Is this really the essence of religion? If all religion teaches and upholds peace, harmony, tolerance and love as they claim they do, then why are people engaging in acts and deeds that are promoting the exact opposite of what they say they preach? This is by no means a personal attack on you or on your religion, but this is probably exactly why you should choose someone of the same faith and not hang around cynics like me. It is also perhaps unfortunate that no one has tried to change the way I understand religion. I still can’t quite garner how things between us have become so complicated. I don’t understand why or how is it confusing that I opened the door for you that night. To be honest, I have not been able to come to grips with my own feelings. You are right, you have crept far into my emotional sphere without me even realizing it. In the past 2 weeks, there were times when I wanted to call you to tell you that I have finally fixed my laptop myself and it works so much better now, or when I wanted to ask you whether you had won your last basketball game, or how your graduation went. I had so much to tell/ask you but I knew I could not do that anymore if I were determined to let this go. Maybe I don’t show it much but I am a selfish girl too. I don’t think I can bear the thought of you having connection with a third or fourth person. At least not now. I accept that I am not able to change your faith but I am going to try to deal with my own emotions and feelings. Until I have done that, I don’t actually know how to face you, let alone be good friends with you. However, I do appreciate your honesty and the explanation. As to how to move on from here, I guess I still need some time and space. | | |
| ....congratulated you many times on your graduation tomorrow. ....shouted you dinner to celebrate the happy occasion. ....told you many times that you worked hard for this and you deserve this very much. ....loved to be there for you. | | |
|
